Cpl. B. Hapers said:
When I tell you that Pvt. Sandman is a force to be reckoned with, I beg of you to believe me; if you’ve been in a drill with this guy, I can assure you that no matter where you are, he will find a way to wedge a grenade right between your legs and kill you before you even know it’s coming. Pvt. Sandman has been an incredibly addition to EP4S1 in the short time he has been with us, impressing us right on day 1 and improving ever since then. Pvt. Sandman is a model private both on and off the field; friendly and deadly in one package. And yet there is one mistake that I made in the last sentence; for he will no longer be known as a mere private from this day on. Congratulations PFC Sandman on your shiny new rank, EIB & Rifle Marksman Badge!
CERTIFICATION OF PROMOTION
TO ALL WHO SHALL SEE THESE PRESENTS, GREETING:
Know Ye, that reposing special trust and
confidence in the fidelity and abilities of
Jack Sandman 76561198135131515 EP4S1
I do promote him to Private First Class in the
UNITED STATES ARMY
to rank as such from the 12th day of September, 2024.
You are charged to discharge carefully and diligently the duties of the grade to which promoted and to uphold the traditions and standards of the Army.
Effective with this promotion you are charged to execute diligently your special skills with a high degree of technical proficiency and to maintain standards of performance, moral courage and dedication to the Army which will serve as outstanding examples to your fellow soldiers. You are charged to observe and follow the orders and directions given by superiors acting according to the law, articles and rules governing the discipline of the Army. Your unfailing trust in superiors and loyalty to your peers will significantly contribute to the readiness and honor of the United States Army.